the birthday syndrome

I am turning 24 soon.  Young, single and vibrant. Well, not really!

This would be the age where in i’m suppose to have the time of my life, but then again, it’s just not that simple. Instead I may be having a middle life crisis. Something that may have happen a little too soon right? When we were kids, a question often asked was “ what do you want to be when you grow up?” We, as kids, would proudly say a doctor, attorney or teacher, something like that. But in my case, I wanted to be barbie. Cute and fashionable.  Up until now i wouldn’t mind being barbie. That has always been my dream. But as always, reality kicks in and bites you in the ass. I’m no barbie. I’m just plain and simple ally. Though I get the luxury of dressing my self up and not minding what others might say with what i wear. The fact still remains that in the world where I live in right now wouldn’t care less.

Why i am the only one standing stranded on the same ground? A lot of people I know which is right about my age are having the time of their life. Some have travelled different parts of the world, some are doing the things they absolutely love and some are just falling head over heels inlove. But apparently, nothing of those things I mentioned works for me. Well ok, don’t get me wrong.  I have nothing against the job I have right now. It’s actually pretty good, stable, it pays the bills and it gives me something to do. But up until when? I don’t want to grow old having just one job. I want to simply grow. Experience new things. Marvel at some point. I use to have this urge in life. Excited to grow up and experience the real world but right now nothing in the real world makes me excited. I need to spice up my life a little. I may sound complaining really but i just need to get this out. I do have a good life. I have a good job and a wonderful family and friends. I may have more than what others are having right now but you know what i really need? A goal. Something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning. Something that would make me rush out the door everyday.  A sense of purpose. Something that would make me say at the end of the day that I am happy with everything even if it’s just me. Figuring out what I really want maybe hard but I have to do it at some point. Before I turn 24. Well see what happens next.

 

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